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Oh, How I Long for Vin Scully

If you go back and read my first entry in this blog, you’ll see that I don’t hide my dislike for bad baseball announcers, Steve Physioc and Rex Hudler.

On Friday night, I may have found another duo to pick on forever: Marlins’ Sun Sports broadcasters, Rich Waltz and Tommy Hutton. The following entry may be more appropriate here, but this is what I’ve got:

The Marlins were playing the Yankees last night, and as a Yankees fan, I had no choice but to sit through these two. They said a number of stupid things throughout the night, but nothing they uttered topped what they had to say about Yankees reliever Brian Bruney. Please, if you have a subscription to MLB.tv, do yourself a favor and check this out. You’ll never feel bad about yourself ever again.

Bruney had just come off the disabled list and this brilliant pair, in the middle of a 5-1 Marlins deficit in the eighth inning, were gabbing about how Bruney’s two DL trips this season had been described so differently. One was due to a “strained right elbow flexor muscle” called a while the other was due to a “sore arm”.

OK, I get it. Ha. Ha. It’s different.

These two jokers then moved on to Bruney’s injury history in 2008, which brought out this incredibly ridiculous back-and-forth:

Hutton:  “He spent about three months on the disabled list with a lisfranc injury. L-I-S-F-A-N-C. Now to me, I would just prefer sore arm, because I am not actually sure what that is.”

(Then you probably shouldn’t comment on it because anybody who knows sports and sports injuries knows that lisfranc is a FOOT injury. And next time, don’t forget the “r” when you spell it. But I digress … back to the show.)

Hutton: “So please Google L-I-S-F-A-N-C.”

(Dude! Spelling! You’re supposed to be a professional. I’m sure that injury is spelled correctly on the piece of paper right in front of you. Just say the correct letters. We’re not asking for much.)

Waltz: “He was a German baron back in the 1800s…”

(Now, maybe I’m being harsh because I took French all though high school and for my first year in college, but what about LISFRANC is German???)

Hutton: “I think it means sore arm.”

(Hey, guess what? No, it doesn’t.)

Waltz: “… And he was the first to diagnose lisfranc syndrome.”

(Syndrome?!?! This isn’t AIDS, kids! It’s bones!)

After a short pause …

Waltz: “It’s a foot injury, it looks like.”

(OH, GOOD BOY! GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY, GOOD BOY! Who wants a treat?! Huh? Who wants a treat?!)

Waltz: “L-I-S-F-R-A-N … C? Or L-I-S-F-A-N-C? Yeah, it has something to do with the foot.”

(At this point, I’ll consider that a success.)

Waltz: “A dislocation of the foot.”

Hutton: “OK. There’s no “R” in this one.”

Waltz: “I think that’s “Franc”

(So, there’s no “R” in this one, but he’ll pronounce it with an “R” anyway. Well, at least someone is right.)

I don’t have a PhD in osteology, but I just wish that people who are getting paid to inform you on baseball players would use the vast amount of information supplied to them before every game instead of just winging it and trying to sound funny.

Or maybe I’m spoiled. I grew up with the stories of Vin Scully and all of his wonderful strings of yarn in my ear.

And you, sirs, are no Vin Scully.

Scully. S-C-U-L-L-Y.

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