Home > Uncategorized > Running Off At The Electronic Mouth, No. V

Running Off At The Electronic Mouth, No. V

For the fifth time, here’s a list of topics that I probably should have written about in separate blog posts, but never did.

Saaaad eyes. Turn the other way ...

Charlie Weis, college dropout

In college, have you/did you ever get the feeling that it wasn’t worth studying for an exam? You know that cumulative final in statistics is tomorrow, but it doesn’t make a difference. Either way, you know you are going to fail that class. You could get 100 and it won’t change a thing. That ‘F’ is coming like tomorrow’s sunrise. Go out. Get drunk. Sleep in. Walk with confidence into that exam session and just wing it for all you’re worth. Guess your ass off. Bubble in all answers as “C.” What have you got to lose? It doesn’t matter. You’ve already failed.

Yeah, that’s how I think Charlie Weis is viewing the rest of this Notre Dame season. Just winging it.

Lawler’s law: More Iranian jokes

In the NBA, especially in Los Angeles, there will never be another Chick Hearn. But Ralph Lawler, who is the long-time announcer for the hapless Clippers, is pretty good in his own right. His “BINGOOOOO!” calls on 3-pointers are well-known throughout So. Cal.

So I wondered why he wasn’t on the call for last night’s upset win over the Denver Nuggets. Now, at the bottom of the following link, we have the answer.

Personally, that transcript is pretty funny. I understand that FOX Sports had to cover its ass, but that really shouldn’t warrant a suspension. Although I have never liked the term “back-door pass.”

Courtney Lee doesn’t deserve this

I will support my boy Courtney Lee until the end. And I think it’s unfortunate that his talent is being wasted on what could possibly be the worst NBA team this decade: The 0-13 New Jersey Nets. The NBA record for consecutive losses to start the season is 17, set by two teams, including the 1998-99 Clippers. I remember that squad had one of the ugliest professional athletes I have ever seen: Keith Closs.

He got uglier after getting LeGarretted and then beat down in that clip. Also, the background noise at 1:46 just makes me laugh.

Former Rockies and Astros pitcher Ezequiel Astacio is also in that ugly discussion, but I digress.

Looking at the Nets’ schedule, this team has a strong chance to do something special. There is no way that they win any of those upcoming road games. So you would have to figure that their next best chance to win will come at home Dec. 4 against the Charlotte Bobcats. Plenty of good seats still available!

So, over-under 18.5 losses for the Nets before their first win? I’ll take the over.

Also, over-under 15 more games until head coach Lawrence Frank is fired? This is the final year of his contract.

Pierre Thin-derson-Niles

I know that Memphis Tigers forward Pierre Henderson-Niles lost a lot of weight before last season (70 pounds in 3 months?!?! I will personally trade three years of my life to have that kind of metabolism!). But while I watched the Memphis-Kansas game this past week, it was pretty incredible to see the transformation his body has undergone. I remember seeing him on the bench during Memphis’ 2006-07 season. His warmup jersey looked like a king-sized bed sheet. I can’t believe this guy on the left used to weigh 350 pounds.

“The Bill Belichick Play”

I forget which college game I was watching tonight, but an announcer hinted that a team may go for it on fourth-and-short in its own territory. The color analyst responded, “So, you think we could see a Bill Belichick play here?”

I am a bit of a Patriots hater, but man, I can’t express how much I hope that name doesn’t stick. It wasn’t all about the call, people! Blame the execution!

MLB awards: Correct so far

It is turning out to be a very deserving season to those who won MLB awards. Coghlan and Bailey? No problem for rookies of the year. Lincecum? Fine. I was so glad to see Zack Greinke not only win in the AL, but win by a landslide. Although, it’s “negative” for him to win. Mauer and Pujols should be no-brainers to be named MVP this week.

Tracy and Scioscia? Dead on, and anyone who argues for another side in the AL isn’t seeing the whole picture.

Yes, there was Nick Adenhart and while it feels heartless to use him as a campaign point, his death certainly counts for a lot. But also look at what Scioscia had to deal with on the field. Vladimir Guerrero missed 62 games. Torii Hunter missed 43. Yet, he filled the holes and made stars out of players such as Maicer Izturis.

No John Lackey and Ervin Santana for the first five weeks? Oh, no worries. Scios will plug in Matt Palmer and just turn him into a stud. Jose Arredondo and Scot Shields lost for the season? Well, that’s why God created KEVIN FREAKIN’ JEPSEN AND JASON BULGER! WHO? WHAT? I think Ray Bulger could have risen from the dead to give the Angels some quality innings with Scioscia’s tutelage.

And the Los Angeles Angels still won 97 games and came within two of making it to the World Series. That is classic managing.

In closing, I’ll say …

… that I wish Ken Griffey Jr. would just retire. He hit .214, OPS’ed .735 and is slowly ruining all of my childhood memories.

… I hope you enjoy week 11 in the NFL. Unfortunately, it looks like the most important game of the day wil be decided by a horrible backup QB. Downgrade all Broncos for fantasy purposes.

Being carried off the field wasn't enough? Jeez, just leave already!

  1. November 23, 2009 at 9:57 am

    Dude, what the shit is up with Pierre?

    He looks CUT! Almost like he should be on the football field.

    Good for him though. Being enormous was not a good look for him.

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