Home > Uncategorized > With Tiger Woods Fallen, Who Can Ignorant Sports Fans Trust To Be Their Demigod Now?

With Tiger Woods Fallen, Who Can Ignorant Sports Fans Trust To Be Their Demigod Now?

It wasn’t exactly like Jimmy Swaggart or Bill Clinton, but Tiger Woods did the right thing today, basically expressing that he has sinned. It’s pretty much the only thing you can do when you get caught.

He will not be pierced for his transgressions because, what really happened here? 31 months of a little something on the side, holy F—! A tad of adultery. Some lying, some hiding. Maybe a domestic dispute? I don’t understand the people who actually think that this episode will somehow tarnish Tiger’s image and career.

He’ll have to do some damage control. He will face relentless questioning from the media once he shows his face on the PGA Tour again. And I can only wait to see how the galleries in New York and Phoenix treat him.

“Hey, Tiger! You should have your wife be your swing coach!!”

“Tiger!! Make sure you stay away from the trees this time!!”

“Forget hole-in-one! Tiger, I heard you were holing two!”

Woods will definitely have to take some lumps from public opinion for a little while. That’s what happens when we hold a certain person to a standard that most of us can’t follow anyway. We want to think that they are better than us, that we can redeem ourselves through them. But really, we all bleed red. And really, many other athletes have done worse and their public perception is fine now.

Jamal Lewis got busted in setting up crack deal. He’s cool.

Ray Lewis got arrested for murder. No worries. He’s beloved in the NFL.

Kobe Bryant admitted to cheating and was accused of rape. He’s the most popular player in the NBA.

Mike Tyson was CONVICTED of rape. Did you see him in The Hangover? He was freaking hilarious, man! These are just four athletes I chose off the top of my head. You know the list of admired-but-flawed athletes is tremendously long. And I’m sure a good number of them cheated on their spouse.

So, after the initial stun you get when you hear something like this, it’s really time to move on. Tiger will get back on the tour and the first few months will be rocky. But as soon as he starts winning again, this will be forgotten.

But here is the more interesting thought to ponder: Tiger Woods did curse a lot on the golf course and threw his clubs, but to the outside world, he seemed to live a perfect life. Now, it doesn’t look so perfect. Just more normal. But you can no longer say that Tiger Woods’ slate is clean. I’m not a religious man, but up until this past weekend, he hadn’t any run-ins that we know of with the law or other “transgressions.”

So who is left to be the pure role model for sports fans? Which star can truly cast the first stone?

I initially thought of Albert Pujols, but that’s probably just because I always have baseball on the brain. After two seconds, I knew that was a stupid answer.

The end-all, be-all of idolized sports starts at this moment has to be Tim Tebow. He’s good-looking. He’s a winner and a die-hard competitor. He’s arguably the best at his level. He’s a man of strong faith — I’ve learned more about scripture through Tebow’s eye black than the Bible. He wants to save himself for marriage. He circumcises poor Filipino children in his down time.

Oh lord, let me bathe in the Teblood!!!

He’s your golden child. Your idol. Your demigod.

So what happens when he falters? He’ll give into human weaknesses. He might even (gasp) RUN A STOP SIGN!! What then? What will we do with ourselves. We will have truly have no one else to look up to.

Hold strong, Tim Tebow. You are the only one who can guide us toward a life of fulfillment and guard us from certain Armageddon.

Avoid the temptations! For our sakes, AVOID THEM!!!

You know what the funny part is? I’m sure there is at least 10 people in this country who take that last line to be fact.

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  1. December 3, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Probably more than 10, really.

    I have decided I am really going to miss Tebow.

    FOr as much fawning and adoration he gets from the media in general, the adulation he inspired among college football fans was insane, and I really liked seeing it.

    Was he overrated? Perhaps; Dan LeFevour did as much — or more, really — in his time at Central Michigan, but people stopped caring about that state long ago.

    But I’m still gonna miss him.

  2. spokes310
    December 3, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Statistically, LeFevour did almost as much, but there’s not much respect to be had in the MAC. :\

    When Tebow does finally slip up — and I’m sure it will happen — he will be railroaded in the media and people across the nation will cry. That type of adulation doesn’t deserve to be put upon anyone. He is held to such a high standard, we expect a football player in his early-20s to be better than us commoners. And that’s the sad thing. We want to love him so much, but when he finally treads slightly off the straight and narrow, we will shake our finger at him, as if he’s not supposed to have the same feelings and instincts.

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