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Tiger Woods’ Statement: What Did You Expect?

For about 13 minutes this morning, the world stopped. We heard from Tiger Woods. His statement was aired all over network and cable TV. I would love to know the ratings. Although only three members of the media were allowed in the room, many other members came from all over the world. They were probably expecting the world and what did we get?

Tiger Woods is sorry. Still. He apologizes to his friends, fans and family. Still.

It was very formal, very composed, very prepared, very expected. He didn’t cry — although he did pause a few times. He didn’t go into any details of his affairs — nor does he need to. I think many are disappointed about what they heard from Tiger today, but that’s because they wanted him to become Carrot Top and just start throwing everything out of his secret chest.

But really, Tiger did what he needed to do today: Show up, be contrite. Or at least act contrite. He did and I think the statement was a success for him.

Some other things I found interesting in completely overblown event:

  • I pretty much knew what he would say. So most of all, I wanted to see what he looked like. I somewhat bought into the rumors that he needed some facial plastic surgery after the beating he took from Elin on the night of the car accident that lit the fuse. But he looked fine. And one of the more poignant points of the speech came when he strongly defended his wife and dismissed all rumors that she did or has ever hit him. “There has never been an episode of domestic violence in our marriage. Ever.” I’ll buy that over the rumors
  • Tiger said that Elin doesn’t deserve blame. Last time I checked, no one’s blaming her. Blaming her for what? I’m pretty sure people would understand all of Elin’s actions after she found out that her world-famous husband and father of her two kids was basically not giving a damn about their marriage.
  • It was surprising to hear words such as “cheated” and “affairs,” but it was welcomed. That’s about as close as he got to mentioning his many sexual relationships. And that angered at least one person …
  • After the statement, I turned on the FOX affiliate here in L.A. only to see a woman, Veronica Siwik-Daniels (aka porn actress Joslyn James), crying while her attorney, well-known Tiger mistress rep Gloria Allred, took questions. Veronica was one of Tiger’s playthings. Apparently, she was crushed that Tiger didn’t make a personal apology to her in his statement. So I guess she needed to make a statement about that. Or get herself some press. She said that Tiger told her that he loved her.

Bitch, Tiger Woods doesn’t care about you or the rest of his cavalcade of sluts. Get over it.

  • Tiger made a plea to the paparazzi to leave his wife and kids alone. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. Not in this culture, in this time and not with this story. Certainly not when those people can make good money off those photos.
  • I thought the most honest moment of the speech was when Tiger said that, through money and fame, he felt entitled and felt that normal rules didn’t apply to him, and now he knows that he was wrong. He’s basically telling us why he cheated.

Why? Because I can. I’m Tiger Woods. I’m the most recognizable¬† athlete in the world and I’m filthy, filthy rich.

It takes a lot to admit something like that, if not in those exact words.

  • Stupid straight-away camera. Someone needs to that thing out back and shoot it. And how atrocious were those curtains? Someone should have played the Johnny Carson Tonight Show theme when Tiger came out.

    She wants a personal apology for ... something, I don't know. And some more press.

  • “As Elin told me, my apology to her will not come in the forms of words. It will come from my behavior over time.” That’s about as close as he got to giving us a look into his discussions with his wife, who was not in the room when he was delivering his statement.
  • While it’s fine that he keeps whatever he wants to keep between he and Elin, Tiger has to understand that the same questions he didn’t answer today about his marriage and details of his infidelities will be asked to him when he gets back to the Tour. Like a camera shutter in his backswing, it’s going to annoy the hell out of him, but he’ll have to just deal with it swiftly and move on.
  • He said he needs to be more respectful of the game of golf when he returns. Does that mean no more F-bombs and club throws? That’s just competitive fire. How was he disrespectful to the game in the first place? His affairs and subsequent absence from the Tour was an inconvenience for golf. He was disrespectful only to his friends and family.
  • Tiger said he needs help with his “issues” but never specified what those issues are. I guess I would have liked to hear “sex addiction” since it’s been reported that he spent 45 days at a sex rehab, in Mississippi of all places. But since he doesn’t need to tell us anything about his rehab in the first place, I’ll let that slide.
  • I didn’t see a tear from Tiger, but when he said that he wouldn’t rule out a return to the PGA Tour THIS YEAR, that’s when Tim Finchem started to weep like a baby. I believe he fainted and had to be carried out. But hey, I commend Tiger for that. Take care of what really matters first: Your personal life and family. Your job will be there when you are ready to come back.

That’s about it. While writing this, I’ve seen Tiger’s entire speech six times. It’s giving me a headache. People will be breaking down everysinglepart of this thing today, from the words to the body language and post-speech exchanges with his family. It’s nauseating. This is going to be on a continuous loop like the Christmas Yule Log. Only this is going to be much more irritating. I’ve got to get out of the house.

  1. February 19, 2010 at 10:32 am

    My question: WHO CARES????

  2. February 21, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    He looked white, and that was annoying.

    Also, the best comment I read about it was by someone over at The Big Lead or Deadspin, and it basically said the best possible outcome of this is if Tiger had come out, grapped the mic, looked into the camera, said “Fuck all of you, I’m Tiger Woods,” dropped the mic and left.

    It would have been awesome.

  3. spokes310
    February 21, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    “I just would like to say to all of you … kiss my ass, you rotten motherfuckers.”

    One of these days, I’m gonna get tired of all these Chappelle’s Show tie-ins. But that’s not going to be anytime soon. I can’t wait to go to the Pac-10 Tourney and giggle every time they announce the name of USC forward Leonard Washington.

    “Name? Leonard Washington.
    Where I’m from? A little town called none of your God damn business.”

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