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You Shouldn’t Have Tased Him, Bro

What a shot. I mean by the photographer, not by the guard

First of all, that has to be one of the most descriptive sports photos in recent memory. Granted, I haven’t done any research regarding that last sentence, but that is a wonderful photo. As much attention as there is being paid to the actions during Monday’s Phillies game, I haven’t heard anyone at all talk about that shot. So here’s to you, Matt Slocum. You’re a true man of genius.

For sure, you’ve seen this picture before this post. That fan looks like he just knows that something with bad intentions is coming up from behind. And that security guard resembles something straight out of Mitchell — an overweight law enforcer who covers for his sloppy shape by using his gun to bring down a perp, no matter that it is excessive force. As this is.

I’ve heard people argue all throughout the day that you never know what the fan is going to do, it’s better to be safe than sorry, look what happened to Monica Seles, look what happened to Tom Gamboa and all that jazz.

Those are valid points. Tasers would have been a suitable answer in those two specific instances. But when you introduce a deadly weapon into the equation, you have to be sure that it is for a just cause. This isn’t Grand Theft Auto. You just can’t go around shooting people, even if they are trespassing. A Taser should be a last resort.  Instead, it just looks like this guard got tired of running and being humiliated by some towel-waving kid, so he did whatever he could to stop anything that resembles exercise.

By the way, the runner is coming to Penn State.

I think the use of Tasers has to be decided on a case-by-case basis. I remember the “Don’t tase me, bro” incident in Florida, 2007. I disagreed with the use of it then. But hey, at least that guy was physically resisting officers. In this case, look at this kid. He’s running aimlessly around the outfield. He has no weapons — although if he soaked that towel in water, he could deliver a nasty slap to Juan Castro’s backside. While he’s literally in a ballpark, figuratively he’s not in the ballpark of any player and shows no desire to be near them. He’s just circling like a house fly, seeing how long he can go before he gets caught. He was not a risk to anyone around him … and you shoot him in the back?

Taser? No, probably not. He's not a risk to anyone except maybe squeamish viewers and small children with virgin eyes

Taser? Yeah, probably so. You don't want any crazed fan -- and they are crazy if they run on to the playing field -- that close to any player

The Philadelphia Police Department said it will open an investigation to see if the Taser was properly used in this situation. But that will all come back positive for our quick-trigger pal. The city’s police commissioner has already thrown his support behind the guy. But there is no doubt to me that using a Taser on someone who is everything but a threat toward anyone on the field is excessive and should be cause for reprimand.

Yet, I am in favor of two effects that this show of force seems to have had on sports. It has shown fans that they better think twice before deciding if they really want to try a security guard’s patience. They might shoot you on general principle. It’s obvious that fact ran through the mind of the copycat fan who trespassed during Tuesday’s Phillies game.

If I am at a game, I can force up a laugh for a fan on the field, but the tradition is tired these days. There are no more kissing bandits or fan mans. Everyone just scampers without a purpose.

Secondly, this may have given us an opportunity to see something glorious: Charles Barkley getting tased. He said during Tuesday’s Inside the NBA on TNT that he wanted to see what a Taser felt like and told host Ernie Johnson that he wants him to be the shooter.

When Kenny Smith asked Charles why he couldn’t be the one to shoot him, Barkley classically answered “Because I don’t like you, Kenny.”

Barkley was very serious about being tased. He said he will do it at some point during the playoffs, he just has to get himself “mentally prepared.” Unless you are a monk with Buddhist concentration, I don’t think any sort of mental preparedness is going to help. Charles is clearly stalling and I can’t wait to see him go down in a blaze of twitching glory.

With Taser fear gripping Philadelphia, wacky fans now stop running when asked politely

OK, he's had his fun. Bake 'em away, toys. I mean ...

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