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Brady Hoke Is A Good Coach With A Great Name

Brady Hoke is a good hire for University of Michigan football. He grew up rooting for Michigan and was a Michigan assistant coach in the mid-90s, so I guess that makes him a “Michigan Man.” The man knows how to orchestrate a program turnaround as he took Ball State and San Diego State from the bottom to bowl games. He obviously wants to be there.

But above all else, he has a fantastic name.

Brady Hoke

Case in point, take this witty plea from a Wolverines fan on Michigan athletics’ official Facebook page from Tuesday: “come on hokey pokey and turn this thing around.”

Brilliant, but that’s just a start. I understand the tangible newspaper is a suffering medium and the Internet’s endless supply of space commonly leads to long, dull headlines. In case you were wondering, newspapers do still exist and there is something comforting about those quick, large, bold, sometimes funny puns. Those tasked to fill out main headline fields must love this hire because “Brady Hoke” inspires infinite possibilities.

Or in the case of this post, 11 possibilities.

Here’s a few you could see in your paper tomorrow as a reaction to Wednesday’s introductory press conference:




And if you really wanted to push it, perhaps as a subhead:


But what if Brady Hoke finds himself in a George O’Leary situation and has to resign just days after agreeing to take on his dream job?


Or one that I like a little better:


I’m sure HOK-X would probably work as well, but you get the point. I think.

Yes, the exclamation point is crucial. The outrage factor is important in a good headline.

I’m sure papers will use this as a title for Hoke’s recruiting classes every year:


What if Hoke maybe has unkind words for a dirty player on another team or some gripe with the media? There’s an app headline for that. Not a good one though:


As awful as that is, I’m sure someone will write a headline tying in Brady Hoke with former Michigan QB Tom Brady. I can’t think of anything, so feel free to supply your own.

It took Hoke a few years to change the course of Ball State’s football program and I’m sure it will take him a while to mop up the toxic wasteland that Rich Rodriguez left in Ann Arbor. But if Hoke can lead the Wolverines to 11 wins or so in his first season, it could be viewed as a magical season. To that point:


And if he brings Michigan a national title:


However, a play on that name is currently in use by those writing about New York Jets kicker Nick Folk.

Odds are Hoke will face some very tough times with Big Blue. If the media is too quick to jump on his back like a saber-toothed cat to a giant sloth, you might see something like this:


Or something that just makes happy for some unknown reason:


Say “Hoke joke” really fast in a deep voice. You will smile.

Michigan has been looking for the next Bo Schembechler to lead its football team for the past 21 years. Gary Moeller won a lot of games, but his Michigan tenure came to an end under infamous circumstances. Lloyd Carr won a lot of games, but not enough of the ones that counted to his fan base (he lost six of his last seven games against Ohio State and five of six bowl games from 2001-06). Rich Rodriguez didn’t win a lot of games, but …

Well, that’s about it. He was a disaster.

If Hoke can’t be the next Bo and return Michigan football to yearly national prominence, I’m sure many in the area will say the Wolverines missed again in their effort to pick the right head coach.

Or rather:


  1. padrick
    January 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm



  2. January 22, 2011 at 8:32 pm


    I gave small thought to Michigan Woe-verines.

    But that’s just stupid.

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