Home > Uncategorized > Brady Hoke Is A Good Coach With A Great Name

Brady Hoke Is A Good Coach With A Great Name

Brady Hoke is a good hire for University of Michigan football. He grew up rooting for Michigan and was a Michigan assistant coach in the mid-90s, so I guess that makes him a “Michigan Man.” The man knows how to orchestrate a program turnaround as he took Ball State and San Diego State from the bottom to bowl games. He obviously wants to be there.

But above all else, he has a fantastic name.

Brady Hoke

Case in point, take this witty plea from a Wolverines fan on Michigan athletics’ official Facebook page from Tuesday: “come on hokey pokey and turn this thing around.”

Brilliant, but that’s just a start. I understand the tangible newspaper is a suffering medium and the Internet’s endless supply of space commonly leads to long, dull headlines. In case you were wondering, newspapers do still exist and there is something comforting about those quick, large, bold, sometimes funny puns. Those tasked to fill out main headline fields must love this hire because “Brady Hoke” inspires infinite possibilities.

Or in the case of this post, 11 possibilities.

Here’s a few you could see in your paper tomorrow as a reaction to Wednesday’s introductory press conference:

HOKE SPRINGS ETERNAL

Or:

THE GREAT BLUE HOKE

And if you really wanted to push it, perhaps as a subhead:

FANS HOPE HOKE ISN’T HOKUM


But what if Brady Hoke finds himself in a George O’Leary situation and has to resign just days after agreeing to take on his dream job?

SHADY HOKE

Or one that I like a little better:

HOKE-X!

I’m sure HOK-X would probably work as well, but you get the point. I think.

Yes, the exclamation point is crucial. The outrage factor is important in a good headline.

I’m sure papers will use this as a title for Hoke’s recruiting classes every year:

BRADY’S BUNCH

What if Hoke maybe has unkind words for a dirty player on another team or some gripe with the media? There’s an app headline for that. Not a good one though:

BEEF OF BRADY’S

As awful as that is, I’m sure someone will write a headline tying in Brady Hoke with former Michigan QB Tom Brady. I can’t think of anything, so feel free to supply your own.

It took Hoke a few years to change the course of Ball State’s football program and I’m sure it will take him a while to mop up the toxic wasteland that Rich Rodriguez left in Ann Arbor. But if Hoke can lead the Wolverines to 11 wins or so in his first season, it could be viewed as a magical season. To that point:

HOKE-US POCUS

And if he brings Michigan a national title:

HOKE HERO

However, a play on that name is currently in use by those writing about New York Jets kicker Nick Folk.

Odds are Hoke will face some very tough times with Big Blue. If the media is too quick to jump on his back like a saber-toothed cat to a giant sloth, you might see something like this:

C-HOKE

Or something that just makes happy for some unknown reason:

HOKE JOKE

Say “Hoke joke” really fast in a deep voice. You will smile.

Michigan has been looking for the next Bo Schembechler to lead its football team for the past 21 years. Gary Moeller won a lot of games, but his Michigan tenure came to an end under infamous circumstances. Lloyd Carr won a lot of games, but not enough of the ones that counted to his fan base (he lost six of his last seven games against Ohio State and five of six bowl games from 2001-06). Rich Rodriguez didn’t win a lot of games, but …

Well, that’s about it. He was a disaster.

If Hoke can’t be the next Bo and return Michigan football to yearly national prominence, I’m sure many in the area will say the Wolverines missed again in their effort to pick the right head coach.

Or rather:

MISS-IGAN

Advertisements
  1. padrick
    January 19, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Miss-igan.

    beautiful.

  2. January 22, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    Thanks.

    I gave small thought to Michigan Woe-verines.

    But that’s just stupid.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: