Home > Uncategorized > Running Off At The Electronic Mouth, No. XII

Running Off At The Electronic Mouth, No. XII

Not every Super Bowl commercial can be the Budweiser frogs

It’s too late for me to say anything about the Super Bowl, failing the Star-Spangled Banner, technical difficulties galore during the halftime show or how Cowboys Stadium wasn’t prepared for a game its staff knew they would be hosting 45 months ago. But I think the commercials are still fair game. They’ve been getting panned for being racist or callous or against the elderly — which is basically the makeup of most Super Bowl commercials. GoDaddy.com (or .co, .gov, .pos, no one cares) has had its day, it needs to go. Bud Light didn’t turn out anything memorable, and while Pepsi usually turns out something funny, commercials with people getting hit in the groin are very 1990.

But yes, overall, these were an upgrade from 2010. People forget that was a brutal year outside of the Betty White/Abe Vidoga Snickers ad. This year, I liked the Super Bowl follow-up to that spot with Richard Lewis and Roseanne. Most of the car commercials were winners, especially Chevy with that nursing home ad. If people actually think that’s discriminatory, they should activate their sense of humor more often. Doritos was solid and Budweiser’s “Tiny Dancer” ad was funny. Plus, while they are not considered commercials, I will take any and all Super 8 or Cowboys and Aliens previews.

I think expectations for these commercials has reached an insurmountable level. We expect every one to justify the $2.5 million spent for every 30 seconds. But the layout of these commercials now follows a Saturday Night Live script: You get some good stuff early on, but once you get past halftime (Weekend Update), you’re praying that the game is still watchable. And you learn to live with it.

It has not been a sub-par, yet wacky offseason for Brian Cashman. The Yankees did something they almost never do: miss out on all of the top free agents. Then we saw a side of Brian Cashman that has been hidden in the shadows, and I loved it.

He came out against the Rafael Soriano deal. Sacrilegiously, he wondered out loud about Derek Jeter’s future at shortstop. He doubted C.C. Sabathia’s weight loss. He rappelled buildings and served drinks in a New York bar, both while wearing a sweetass spiked blond wig/bandana combo. At least one person wrote that this sudden wave of extroversion was part of Cashman’s ultimate plan to get himself fired. Now, that’s ridiculous. Brian Cashman isn’t trying to get himself fired. But the insinuation by the media of such will probably help.

Now that the thought has been released into the beat community, Cashman will have to answer questions about his job security all throughout the season, the last under his current three-year contract. The volume will obviously rise if the Yankees struggle, but even if they win at a high rate, writers will wonder about Cashman’s desire to remain the Yanks’ GM, not just Lupica. They will reference his offseason comments and activities as evidence that he wants out. He’ll deny it more than once, but no one will take him at his word, and it will compounded if the Yankees struggle. If that happens, all types of media will be submitting their Cashman-Yankees obituary in August.

The heat will rage, the Yankees will get knocked out in the LCS round — that’s as much as can be expected with the team as currently constituted — and Hank Steinbrenner will have no choice but to let Cashman walk. Scribes will say that’s the way Cashman wanted it and that you could tell in January that he wasn’t fully committed.

If the Yankees get rid of Cashman for any reason other than displeasure with on-field results, they will have fallen into this trap, something I think is a real possibility because of this mindless chatter that trickles down and infects the fan base.

Speaking of baseball, spring training is knocking on the door. Some players have already made their way into camp and a good number of teams (D-Backs, Orioles, Tigers, Cardinals, Phillies, Pirates, Padres, Mariners, Blue Jays) will have their pitchers and catchers report Sunday. Thank God! You know baseball people are running out of things to talk and write about when there’s interest in analyzing exactly what Cubs game Ferris Bueller attended 25 years ago.

A eerie-yet-awesome reminder to St. Louis Cardinals fans: Tick. Tock. The worse news is that clock is a little more than one day slow.

I don’t watch hockey until it reaches the playoffs,  but I fell in love with the fantasy draft the league held to pick its All-Star teams last month. I DVR’ed it and watched it three times. I knew only 70 percent of the players, but I was hooked. If you put the word “fantasy” next to anything sports related, it is gold. I figured another league would steal that idea quickly, so kudos to the NBA and the folks at TNT for taking the first small step toward doing just that during NBA All-Star Saturday night.

Fantasy All-Star drafts: They aren’t just for hockey.

“When the Lakers have struggled at times through the past couple of seasons, I scoffed at panic reports.

“Not this year. There is major cause for concern. Gasol and Bynum have been very underwhelming, which is the main culprit in these losses, not Artest. Although he’s obviously not helping either. Gasol is looking as soft as ever.
That bench is thin and I’m not sure what’s happened to Shannon Brown’s shot, but it went back to 2010.
This team can’t just flip the switch. It thinks it can, but it can’t. I hear Charles Barkley talking right now about how the Lakers will still beat the Spurs in a seven-game series because of their size advantage. It doesn’t matter if they don’t use, as seen on that final possession.”

That’s what I told a few friends last Thursday soon after the Lakers were defeated on a last-second tip-in by 68-year-old Antonio McDyess and the San Antonio Spurs. Including that defeat, the Lakers had lost three of their past four games, including a shameful loss at home versus Sacramento before a Boston blowout. Their only win in that stretch came at home against Houston in overtime. Pau Gasol was looking like his old Charmin self. Andrew Bynum looked disinterested. Ron Artest reportedly wanted out of town and his play basically demanded it. Shannon Brown could barely hit the backboard and the rest of the bench had disappeared.

I said that night that I wouldn’t be surprised if the Lakers went 3-4 during their upcoming seven-game road trip.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand they’ve won the trip’s first four games and still have Charlotte and Cleveland left to visit. Since it’s obvious I know nothing, I’ll just shut up now.

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