Home > Uncategorized > The San Francisco Giants Are Going To Cause A Number Of Induced Births On Aug. 1

The San Francisco Giants Are Going To Cause A Number Of Induced Births On Aug. 1

It’s Monday night, Aug. 1. That’s exactly nine months to the day after the Giants clinched their first World Series Championship in 52 years, and a San Francisco-area hospital is suddenly being bombarded by expecting parents.

The clock is ticking, and 7:54 p.m. is the target time. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

“We’ve got to go now!” a father screams.

“But it’s not ready yet,” a doctor tries to tell him calmly. But there’s no changing the dad’s mind — it’s go time. There’s too much riding on that baby being born on that exact night at that exact time.

“But why now??” the doctor says.

“Because that kid’s name needs to be on a fucking brick, and I need my gift card, dammit! Don’t argue with me! Get your shit together, we’re going in! WHERE ARE YOUR FORCEPS???”

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That’s a little overzealous, but how many sets of soon-to-be-parents/Giants fans do you honestly believe will do whatever they can to make sure their newborn is the winner of some stupid promotion? It’s going to be more than zero.

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