Home > Uncategorized > So I Hear That We’re Back To Football. That’s Not A Good Thing For Me

So I Hear That We’re Back To Football. That’s Not A Good Thing For Me

No, football’s great. Really, it’s fantastic to have it back. I like writing about it, too. But yesterday — and pretty much looking ahead to all of this week — I was focused on nothing but football as I wrote fantasy football notes for a website. So, I missed the large majority of this gold:

— C.C. Sabathia retired the first 19 Seattle Mariners he faced, striking out 12 of them. Sabathia, David Robertson and Mariano Rivera tied the Yankees’ franchise record with 18 strikeouts in a nine-inning game. Ron Guidry struck out 18 in a game versus the Angels in 1978. My dad may or may not have been there. I don’t know when to trust him.

— Because of Sabathia’s dominance, the Mariners experienced their 17th consecutive loss. We are really getting into the thick of history here, people. But I think the streak ends TODAY! Why? Basically because Felix Hernandez owwwwwwwns the Yankees. He has a 2.98 ERA in nine career starts against them. Seattle has won Felix’s last five starts against the Yankees, and he has allowed six combined runs in those starts, four of which came in one game.

Plus, what do I have to lose by making such a guarantee? Another game? Psssh.

— The Cubs-Brewers score at the end of one inning: 3-2. Final score: 3-2, which is just weird.

— The Royals and Red Sox played a nine-inning game that nearly reached four hours. But more importantly, Royals outfielder Mitch Maier threw a scoreless inning. Following Michael Cuddyer’s appearance Monday, Maier became second position player to pitch in as many nights. Again, I’m not sure what that means in the name of baseball history; it’s just freakin’ weird!

— Speaking of the Twins, they still had some fight left in them one night after allowing 20 runs — their most allowed since 1974 — and 27 hits — their most allowed since 1953. They scored two runs in the ninth inning off of Rangers closer Neftali Feliz to secure a 9-8 win. Meanwhile, Feliz has allowed five runs on seven hits and four walks with just four strikeouts in eight innings pitched this month.

We had an inside-the-park home run.

We had a praying mantis attack a “honey badger.”

— And, of course, we had the worst play-at-the-plate call since Leslie Nielsen in “Naked Gun.” And I guess you could call this an admission of error …?

The morale of this bitchy rant, kids: When there’s baseball on, just blow off all of your tasks in life. You’ll be better because of it.

But now, back to writing about Jacoby Jones re-signing with the Houston Texans. Oh. Yay.

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