Home > Chicago White Sox, No-Hitter, Seattle Mariners > Perfect Game Baby? I Don’t Like Him

Perfect Game Baby? I Don’t Like Him

I try hard to see as much live baseball as possible with the money I have. It’s not easy, but I’m able to attend about 15-20 games a year, 90 percent of them at Dodger Stadium. When I was in high school, I went to about 30 games a year, 90 percent of them at Angel Stadium — or rather what was Edison International Field of Anaheim.

I think I’ve been in attendance for 3oo-4oo MLB games in my 28 years. I did see a one-hitter way back in the early ’90s, but I have never seen a no-hitter. As I’ve said here before, the closest I came was in 1995when Yankees pitcher Jack McDowell went into the eighth without giving up a hit to the Angels. Then the Angels got their act together.

I know I’m still young and that there are people who have been at thousands of games but have never seen a no-no. I hope those people are just as angry as me that this freaking baby can come along and have two perfect games handed to him in the span of four months. At the age of five months, he was probably sleeping when Philip Humber was flawless against the Mariners. At the age of nine months, he was probably drooling when Felix Hernandez did his thing against the Rays.

Really cute story, yes. But why, fate? Why do you have to waste something so special on a brain that is still months away from having any autobiographical recall skills? I’m a good person. I love baseball. What do I have to do? I’ll throw up all over myself and defecate in my pants without a care; you seem to favor those types. I don’t care what it is, just tell me!


On a somewhat-related note, did you get a glimpse of the scene at Safeco Field for Felix Hernandez’s perfect game follow-up on Tuesday night? With close to 40,000 people decked out in yellow shirts and matching K cards, transforming the entire stadium into King’s Court, it was the most legitimate playoff atmosphere I’ve seen this season.

Credit: The Seattle Times

That’s just awesome. Kudos to the fans of a last-place team for coming out. And even more kudos for the Mariners’ marketing department. That came off real well on TV.

As for you, Perfect Game Baby? I hope that when you’re able to eat an ice cream cone, you drop it on the ground.

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