Brian Runge: MLB Umpire, Lucky Bastard

This Brian wishes he had the fortunes of pictured Brian

I’m still young. I don’t have a particularly healthy diet, and I don’t work out as much as I should, so maybe I’m an old 27. But 27 is a fine age, unless you’re a brilliant modern musician, in which case 27 is usually your final age.

The point is, I should have a decent amount of time left in whatever reality this is. If recent history is a guide, I will make it to at least another 600 or 700 baseball games during my life. But I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never, ever see a no-hitter.

I came relatively close in 1995. I was at the then-Anaheim Stadium and watching the Yankees take on the then-California Angels.

Jack McDowell, a real fan favorite, pitched seven innings of no-hit ball. Then Chili Davis opened the eighth by tapping a cheap, lousy infield  single between first and second base, and everything fell apart. McDowell allowed three more hits that inning — legitimate hits — and the Yankees ended up losing, 3-1. Since then, I don’t think any starter has made it past the fourth without allowing a hit while I watched in person.

Umpire Brian Runge certainly can’t share my pain.

Pirates and Braves. Almost 7 Hours. 19 Innings. And An Ending That Only A Blind Man Could Love

I was all set to go to bed pissed off.

I wasn’t planning on staying up for the end of tonight’s Pirates-Braves game, a game that obviously called out for me to say something about it. That’s because I got up at 4:45 a.m. today for no apparent reason and spent all day writing fantasy football news updates. It was a crazy day in the NFL, but it caused me to miss an equally amazing day in baseball. And I didn’t like it one bit.

I was about to go to bed and wake up extra early tomorrow to voice my displeasure, tongue in cheek, about how the lack of an NFL lockout has ruined baseball for me. And I still might — again, there were a lot of great games tonight.

But Pirates versus Braves. I couldn’t sleep on this one. The good stuff that everyone will be talking about ad nauseam is below. But where to start?